Interesting week

Wednesday after school I went with Mom and my brothers to Durham and met up with my mom’s old college roommate, and her five kids.  We spent 6 hours at the mall, and the only thing we bought was a meal.  And for three people to do the hyperjump.  The rest of the time was spent talking, getting reacquainted.  It was a nice time with them.  At the end of the evening we tried out the hyperjump, that was fun, and surprisingly gentle, due to the good trampoline and the industrial rubberbands hooked tot he harness to slow the fall and make you spring up.  I decided I was going to enjoy it, call it moving some lymph fluid and try it!  🙂  It really was pretty neat–and indeed, my normally swollen lymph nodes were so much closer to normal.

As soon as I got home Logan was calling me on Skype, so we goofed off on there for a while.  Somewhere in the middle of that though…a nasty depression hit me like a while.  I knew to tell myself that toxins had just been released from places in my body, and my body had to filter them out.  It was true.

Thursday was going alright.  I felt better…and it felt like a new day to me.  Depression gone like it had never been there, YAY!   June asked me if I had bene losing weight…I didn’t know that the lack of 5lbs was visible!  I knew my tighter clothes were what I was wearing but it still showed?  Wow…Oh well, I’d been staying within 130lbs for a few days, thanks to those shakes I was fixing.  I assured June everything was ok, I wasn’t losing any more, and had contacted my doc.  It is nice that some people are observant enough to notice a detail you never said, but a little shocking too.

I had finished schoolwork, and was excitedly digging into “Cure Unknown”!  I couldn’t think well that day, so I gave up on reading and was online and got to have some fun with Logan over Skype…he’s got amazing guitar skillz.  I went and did sauna after that, :).  Then some muscle pain began to set in, in both my arms and legs.  Perhaps sauna was too much, or it was taking this long for my muscles to just say “bulk up!” after the workout they had gotten on Wednesday….  Who knows?

After dinner, I started on some of my writing work.  Within minutes I had fallen asleep and awoke 40 minutes later.   I had my laptop still open on my bed.  It’s amazing I didn’t knock it off!  I skimmed Facebook, and something very distressing had been posted.  Thankfully what had been posted turned out to have been in error.  But, it was really affecting me, I did not sleep till 5 am…

I woke up early Friday, wrote an email and got to school.  The morning was not easy, I had a hard time physically getting going, and my bag falt way heavier than it really was.  My arms and legs didn’t just have muscle pain, they felt like they were filled with lead.  I just got through, thankfully it is a vague pain, but the sensation makes you not trust your step or movement at all.  Got what I needed to done there.  It didn’t really matter, even though the class on dementia and then on hallucinations was kind of funny–and sad–but funny.  The instructor told the story about her father, in the later stages of cancer, having hallucinated that some man was stealing his lawnmower and always sent her out to get the man to return it.  🙂  LOL.

I got home, and DIVED into my weekend.  I thank God for the kind words, the simple “cyber hug” that was so badly needed that I read in my inbox when I got home.  I was admonished to “be still” with a  short passage from Psalm 46.  I will remember this, I promise.  It means so much!

I spent an hour outside Friday, sitting in the sun with mom.  That was nice.  I discovered during this that though my arms and legs felt weak and heavy…I was really limber!  I could stretch farther than normal, but wasn’t as good at, say, lifting something with weight.  Kind of odd feeling.  And we listened to B0unc3 again…Hadn’t listened in a while.  It was nice to hear the different style.  I took a 2 hour nap, and I vividly was dreaming all sort of scenarios surrounding what had been on FB.  I woke up, feeling as if it was morning though, I’d slept well…  It felt like a good morning.  But the sun was setting, not rising.  I had a nice evening anyway, and went to sleep listening to Judy Rogers “Never Be Shaken” album around 2:30 am  The final song on there “Refuge” is from Psalm 46…  But the second song “Be still my soul” seemed to speak more to me and helped me.

I got up today at 8 something…  I checked my weight as I’ve been doing every morning for almost 2 weeks now, and was alarmed.  I had dropped to 128lbs, so the process is not only still going on, but the stress tipped it over and it went back to the nearly a lb a day rate that it had been at before I added in the shakes!  Also my first urine was quite cloudy…some mornings it is like that, esp. during a detox.  This was pretty cloudy, even for me.  But I didn’t feel awful, my spirits were flying high, I knew to take note of these things, but worrying is useless.  I was sure to start eating right away and just got on with my relaxing day.

I ended up taking an hour long walk with my brother, Gabe today.  We walked in the cemetery near our house, I was barefoot on the hot pavement.  But I didn’t care.  I was playing music, and randomly, discoordinatedly dancing along with the techno, and Gabe would roll his eyes.  Once I handed him and earbud an we were walking side by side…We’d break into Lymie/nerdy techno antics together, and sing our hearts out to Caramel Tanzen in German.  It was really fun.  I knew I was tired and my legs were feeling so heavy, but with the music giving me a boost I kept going and made the walk last one lovely hour.  I got home and was exhausted.

I cooked dinner a couple hours later, that was fun, and quick.  Dinner came out delicious even though the wine was not fit for drinking!  🙂  Mom was in the basement, making soap for the first time in about 2 years, and I was upstairs in the kitchen, cranking the techno music for the gumption to complete the meal.  That made things feel a little funny, but it can be gotten used to.  I like that she is doing the soaping stuff without me, she needs to.  The basement makes me sick, and I’m not interested in being a soaper, and I have too many other things to do.  LOL…mom is soaping in the soap “kitchen”, I’m cooking in the real kitchen.  So it was good on two fronts.  And dinner came out awesome.  Pioneer Woman’s chicken recipe was good, and we fixed it w/o the pasta!

Then I came to my room and checked FB…yeah I’m addicted to FB.  Michaela had let me know of a Home School Alumni chat, so I joined in on that.  It turned out to be really nice, a  wonderful connection with things “gone by” but not “gone by”.  It was certainly a good diversion from had become the normal for me, despite the “norm” of my putting my herbal drops in water, right in front of the webcam and my brothers randomly walking in and informing me that I had tick-check duty!  Yes, Gabe had a tick on him…Ugh, first tick of the season for anyone in our family!  I mentioned Lyme…but didn’t let it become main topic.  Those in the convo friended me on FB, they’ll hear plenty later…no need to pound on it.  We talked music, tobacco, alcohol, literature, and the old South, and also had the fun of chasing off a few party crashers that where creepy, paranoid and jealous over nonexistent girlfriends.  LOL.

Ahhh….so its been good, and now I’m still awake at three.  What’s it matter any more, LOL.  Sweet dreams all.

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