Rough Rough…Enough-nough

I don’t know what caused it, there are multiple theories and my body is likely overloaded on life and treatment.  Stressed out.  Yeah…

Tuesday I had some edema in my legs…and it was worse than I thought.  I went to bed thinking it would go down as I slept.

Wednesday evening…it was a big problem!  10lbs of water weight, feeling way too tight for my skin, swelling in my abdomen, consciously breathing deeply…had had one spell of palps already that lasted for a while, and that was coming back.  I nearly went to the hospital but was told “no” so thankfully my doc called in a diuretic.  In retrospect….that was dead serious and it freaks me out to realize that I was just like “la la la” and concerned but not demanding help as I should have, especially considering that I “know” the risks.  I guess my left brain was out in left field too…  I’m thankful to be “ok.”

I can’t seem to get off the diuretic, despite trying a few times.  I keep trying, but there is a bit of edema that won’t go away, it’s been nearly gone but then comes back.  I should hear back on my labs today.  My joint pain is way worse, I’m snapping and poppping terribly, my mental abilities are not as good, my anxiety is sky high….though I keep laying my heart out to God, and I am having some heart palps and stuff – more than the usual that never really concerned me so I pretended it didn’t exist, I have a hard time getting a grip when I change position sometimes.

I’m going back to Ga tomorrow, Lord willing.  Must pack today…but I’m very much trying to get my mind off of myself and what I dont know is going on with my body.  I’m too stressed, and too worried.  Letting it go…but if I have to focus on it at all…bang, I feel worse.

My music right now is Lecrae’s “Walking on Water” “Far Away” and “God is Enough.”  Yeah…I’m struggling.  I trying not to worry about money but fact is, I have very little to my name ($700, no joke!), my family is tight.  I fele like a crudamuck to ask for it…but I will be adding a paypal donate button.  For the moment, if you feel that you can donate even a little bit (even $1):  my Paypal email is knittingbag@yahoo.com .  It costs me $100 to just for the gas to get to Ga and back…  God has always given me wonderful people.  I have a bartering opportunity but I feel to sick to take it up!!  That’s rough.

Reminding myself:

God is enough
God is enough
God is enough
You are enough
Never too much
More than enough
God is enough
You are enough for me…

Gotta hold on to that.

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Ga trip – New focuses

Last week we went to Ga for Dr appts.  It was awesome in so many ways.  I had a blog post written out.  It was so long I know no one will read it.  Still dealing with MAJOR levels of fatigue and symptoms still not clearing up since biofilm herx.  Well the twitching is gone.  All else remained.  I could go into detail on all kinds of things.  But I wont.

Protocol simplified…kinda.  Will update.

Hormones are a big issue for me

  • DHEA was up at 512 in October.  We tested again but the lab messed things up so no results.  I bet it was worse than 512
  • T3 had dropped since october, despite my taking some supps for it.  I’m gladly surprised that symptoms had improved overall despite this.  Way to go ACT!  Now to “regain” the ground…more about that in a bit
  • Both estrogen and progesterone were low.  My LLMD had me get a shot with both in bioidentical form.  I sure hope that helps.  My energy still isn’t better
  • Will be testing cortisol.  The fatigue hit me so hard with this “crash” or continued herx or who-knows-what.
  • Muscle testing my own saliva a couple times a week.  Today is day 22.  I’m a little weak to my saliva, not too bad.  I have NAETed my saliva once before

Had my first IV on Thursday.  Cool!  It made me herx a little during the IV and that evening. I felt different.  Mild constant zone-out, and mild visual convergence issues…  In conjunction with getting good chiropractic work the next day, I herxed/retraced like crazy!  That was terrible on top of blah – tons of pain and I was in a very strange zone out/absence/unable to use logic enough to function.  Visual convergence issues showed up way stronger for those few hours after the appt.  Lasted a few hours.  I slept in a strange way from 7pm to 9 something Friday night.  Saturday I was fine.  I think the chiro did my chronic neck issues a lot of good but I must work on my posture.  I fele it throwing things into terrible positions.

Had wonderful much needed emotional work done on me on Wednesday.  Simply incredible.  It is a lot to process!  Also learned gout is connected to performance anxiety.  I so totally fit that and want to change it.

I’m switching from GAPS to BED/SCD.  Less restrictions, easier on family and easier on my body.  I already gained a lb or two from letting up.  If that holds…I will be very happy.  I tolerate a sugar far better than I tolerate a starch.  So things like rice or butternut quash are still basically out.  Sprouted…it’s ok.  It’s just that my body isn’t cooperating.  Ripe banana = I’m ok.  all yellow but no brown spots banana = hangover.  Obviously something going on with starches.

Taking a break from ACT.  I’m processing sooo much.  My infection load is not showing up as being a big deal.  I won’t lose ground by taking a few weeks off.  It’s strange in a way to even ask for that but I know deeply that the break is needed.  I couldn’t take in another code right now.  Coming back to it when the time is right…   My WBC is normal, but it seems my body had specialized into a lot of lymphocyte production.  I think that’s super cool…and a sign that ACT does something.  I have a WBC from when I was relapsing.  None of this good lymphocyte response!

Had a great time, ran the whole trip on adrenaline.  A lot of good things, physical, emotionl and spiritual going on.  Got back and kinda crashed from the adrenaline rushh.  My energy today was minimal but better than yesterday.  I want to get on a roll of doing things to help me cover the costs.  God has provided a small way, and I don’t want to miss out.  Me…always trying to get into something, likely biting off more than I can chew, and then wondering why I can’t do it.  LOL.  I hope not this time!

Goodnight.

Update:  I knew my pants had felt tight all day.  I took my socks off and I’ve got some pretty major swelling…visible from feet to thigh.  Right side worse.  I was craving water today so I drank a lot…and yeah it was with some mineral salt but not anything majorly new.  Hmmm.  Got pics.

A Tour Through My BioFilm Herx

I began herxing biofilm stuff soon after class gave codes on it.  Wowee….  I’m i Rd 2 right now.  I would be sleeping, but the sensations are intense enough and various enough that there is no way I can sleep without imagining up that I have terrible big wriggling monsters in my muscles.  That’s how intense it it…though my pain is actually quite low.  I would like to video, but I knwo this herx is invisible.  So I will give you a guided tour instead.

Have been grouchy all day.  Like a Klingon, nearbouts.  I have hidden in my room to avoid being mean to people.  But I don’t like that. Oh well.  It’s not easy to talk about my symptoms: I feel like my family is just putting up with me, and drawing on me for help on their own things.  I feel bad not to give.  But I know it’s the way things are…and really, they need to give me some room.  I try not to talk about my symptoms unless it is absolutely necessary.  Enough of the family is Lyme affected.  But I’m going crazy.  I want to talk talk talk talk talk lately.  did I mention I want to talk?  Thankfully the brain fog is mostly dealt with.  I do still get too tired to think…but it is a physical fatigue rather than brain fatigue.  I am still having memory issues and dyslexia.  It will improve.  I’m thankful that by watching some comedy I am no longer in a bad mood.  Just tired and sitting out the ride.

Journaling in the moment – this will likely sound like a drug trip or vampire movie.  It’s not.  The guided tour of the amazing and crazy thigns happening.  Tiny micro twitches like bitty fireworks going off throughout my body.  On my skin, in my muscles, deep inside of me.  Twitches everywhere!  I feel like there is something really big wriggling arounds inside me L calf muscle, My neck hurts in one particular spot.  The whole thing is stiff.  Pulse Pulse buzz zap, mostly painless, but very uncomfortable. strong one that make me flinch involuntarily. funny popping in out of my ear.  tear ducts  feels clogged but it comes and goes, alternanting sides.  painless but uncomforatble tingly ice prick into my L neck shouder.  L shin uncomfortable with a lot of twitching and a mild knifelike pain to the bone.  A lot of numb nad tingly sensations, deep and surface, visceral and limbs.  my R foot hurts and then stops.  now my L pinky at the tip and travelling up the bone into my hand.  strange tingle down from the ice prick in my bladder meridian on my back.  pressure in my abdomen, a twitch over the left rib.  my toes are pulating with twitches.  little ice tingles on the side of my hip, my middle R toe is throbbing…and then stops.  Tingling in my toes and the back of the knee.  R eye fogged over…it will clear up soon.  the twitches try to become jerks, but my temperment resists.  I only flinchy.  spleen grumbles and I feel my heart beat, strong and kinda soft but a little fast.  I feel my fever.  no pain for a second escept in my feet.  a wave of cool and relaxation.  twitches in the L side of my ribcage and R lower back.  momentary spasm in the outer side of my L thigh – no pain.  R middle toe goes to hurting again.  R ear popping in out, pulsing titches over Lumbar spineto R side, L inner aspect of ankle and R top of shin bone are starbursting little.  Wow L2 – 3 on my L foot fires up.  my R eye just cleared.  L side of neck very tight and fire-taught pain.  tickling in shoulders, and crazy little electric sensation everywhere.  right side hot.  pain in a pricke my R shin, tickling on the left about to make me crazy.  spleen pancreas are going wild.

I can continue for a long time.  You see how random it is.  I would be “concentrating” on all of this inadvertently if I were trying to sleep and likely manufacturing a night mare.  I’ve been a good girl…had 12 grams of chlorella today.  8 of those in the past 3 hours. Elimination is fine…  will do Lemon liver tomorrow.  ouch my knee.  wow I’m tired. breathe.  Goodnight.

:) Next Trip and Creative Adventures…

I’ve been getting super busy with the Etsy stuff!  I’m just hoping to make some sales.  Also got an Etsy Team going for all of us cwho are creative and have Lyme.   Lyme Artisans is the name of the team, after deliberation with each other.  I LOVE IT!

Yesterday I started knitting the first scarf I have in a couple years.  Seriously, the last thing I made was during the internship in Ga.  I’ve tried socks since then but was too ADD to even complete the first sock and having clicker-clacking guys at my house means that there is no way to come out with two socks the same size.  I also realized what I want to do with that “thing” I made on a knitting loom.  My passion is knitting on straight needles!

I made a batch of kvass that actually came out good!  I built up from 2tsp to 2TBSP over the course of a week.  Maybe it has caused some die off, maybe not.  Good ferments always give me some energy and more clarity of thought, so if it’s killing bad bugs, I don’t notice it really.  commercial probiotics on the other hand…I fele good at first but I also feel the hit of die off.  I haven’t done that to myself while on GAPS, and have worked myself up to 1/2 capsule of BaCoFlor (bacillus coagulans) per day.  It is a single strain probiotic, instead of the multistrain things ike BioKult that NCM recommends.  I don’t think a multistrain probiotic is where I’m at yet.

This morning I made myself the Lemon Liver cleanse from Immune Restoration Handbook, but modified it “for GAPS” because I can’t have Extra Virgin Olive Oil yet…tried and it was too healing.  I tolerate coconut oil, fish oils, ghee and sesame oil wonderfully.  My body may even be ready for flax or borage, I’m jsut not sure yet.  So I used 1.5 tsp each of fish oil and 1.5 tsp of coconut oil, to make up for the 1 tbsp of EVOO required by the original recipe.  WOW, I LOVE this thing.  maybe I should do it 2-3 times a week.  After having my “lemon lotion” as mom calls it, I had my daily beet kvass and 15 min later followed up with chlorella and a bit of kelp.  I love it when things fit together and make perfect sense to me.  Since my Lymie brother doesn’t tolerate coconut at all (maybe even allergy??) I made him some “lemon lotion” using 1tsp fish oil and a full TBSP of ghee instead.  He tests to needing tremendous amounts of ghee…as long as he gets his fish oil.  The bit of fish oil in the “lemon lotion” is extra to his daily dose, because I have a feeling it is the fish oil making the “alternative” version work well.  He drank half the batch, and I put the rest in the fridge for later.  Watching what happens with that.

I’ve been reading NCM’s chapter on Epilepsy in the GAPS book.  WOW!  🙂  this chick who resonates a lot on dealing with KPU….see that GAPS is a way to address KPU, and if there is a dietary cause of KPU, it’s GAPS.  There are often emotional components needing work…but I truly do question Klinghardt’s stand that supplementation for KPU is necessary for the rest of one’s life.  I jsut don’t want to take that as the answer.  Getting on The Core is a good thing but can’t we fix it??  I think ACT and GAPS is the answer for me personally.  That’s one of my big ponderings of late.  I will want to address the KPU mineral deficiencies when my body is ready for it – and I think that time is soon.  I think fixing this will fix whatever my hydration issues are as well.

My other big pondering…has to do with Bartonella!  Muscle testing and energy medicine theories…  Cool stuff.

I got a full body massage – a really well integrated relaxation massage and medical massage – last week.  It has done me soo much and I learned a lot during this.  Turns out my rotator muscles all over my body, especially both rotator cuffs are really tight.  Also I have TMJ issues I wasn’t conscious of!  I have occasional TMJ pain, but now that I know, I can link that with my neck…

A lot of things are puzzle piecing together and beginning to make sense!

We are heading to Ga for appts next week.  I’m soooo excited.  Just have to say, my LLMD is so awesome and I’m thankful for all that he jumps in to do when we get down there.  🙂  Bring on the hyperbarics and other super healing things!!!  I’m also seeing a new chiropractor this trip.  I’m NOT leaving my other one, if I can help it…he has done me sooo much good, and I could make a post of the things I have learned from him.  He’s kindof like my “guru!” in the alternative medicine world.   But this new chiropractor’s focus is a bit different and I think well-suited to my needs. http://sorsi.com/

I’m also hoping to get to hang out with one of my bestest bestest of friends and sister, Lyme warrior, Heather!!  I’m sooo charged for this trip….  TY God for all these good things.

Busy Bee!!

Been working on getting my old Etsy shops up and running again.  My friend Marjorie has also been adding some gorgeous jewelry to her shop!   Feeling creative and want to knit while I do education things…like watch YouTube or listen to lectures.  LOL.  I finished a lovely 750 piece dolphin puzzle.

Also got our next Ga trip set up!

Up and down week.  Still dealing with GI stuff, even was herxing too hard to wake up and go to church.  Today has been ok but I’m realizing this week it is taking me twice as long as it “should” to get things done.  LOL.  Want to make beet kvass but it hurts to stand too long.

Want to get my schedule straight – no more super late nights.  But hey…I have my week planned!!  Thankful for that.

Favorite thing of the week… having my Samento IN my DeTox tea.  They are happy together.