Salmon & Spinach Desperado Quiche

I guess first I’ll share my crazy kitchen adventure that I was afraid wouldn’t turn out.  Then the update!  I had made a smoked salmon salad for myself the other day.  Leftovers were still in the fridge, and I didn’t want it as salad, but I didn’t want to throw out that wild salmon either!  It’s a desperado quiche.

  • salmon salad:  1/2 can boneless wild Alaskan salmon naturally smoked; a few spoonfuls mayonnaise (from NT); 1/2 lemon’s juice; couple sprinkles finely ground mustard powder
  • 2 free range eggs
  • 1/2 cup chopped frozen and then crushed apart while frozen (think: in the kitchen with a frozen blob of chopped spinach in a bag and me hitting the counter with it like a maniac)
  • small casserole dish, oiled with ghee
  • oven 350.  Mix that stuff together with a fork in a mixing bowl, pour it into the casserole dish and put it in the oven for an hour or so.

Truth and dare: I don’t measure anything, and I don’t count time either.  I just keep my nose near the kitchen.  And if I dont…it all goes up in smoke.  Just the way it works, folks.

Now for the update!

I’ve been home now for a week and a half.  The Ga trip really helped me out and I do feel a lot better from the edema crisis, but I still have to take care.  As soon as I got home I came down with what I thought was a virus or who-knows-what.  ears and throat sore.  well that got worse…full blown agonizing ear infection.  Guess what?  I needed abx.  Haha, it’s crazy.  I tried the home remedies I thought I would tolerate and I still was just getting worse…delayed a bit by the garlic and onion oil drops and stuff.  Anyway those abx helped very quickly and I’m glad to have it down to cotton ears and tinnitus and the worst symptoms.  The abx have made me sleepy…I didn’t expect that, and I’m taking so many probiotics and good fermented foods its not funny.  No herxing from the heavy duty doses of probiotics so…. 🙂 yeah.

I think I’m pretty well geared up for this supermoon.  Today has been my best day in QUITE a while, not that I feel great.  I got out and took a walk, laid in the grass for a while, and went out to eat with mom and then went to the store….also enjoyed chatting with some friends, online shopping customizations (I’m taking the yoga mat plunge), and just general relaxing!  I even took another nap today. 🙂  AND….fiddled around in the kitchen.  All wearing my orange shirt for St Patrick’s day.

Want to say many thanks to all my supportive friends! ♥ Your prayers and gifts are appreciated deeply…. God is good.

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Chemicals….

That’s the conclusion in short.  Way too many chemicals bothering my system.  Recieved a glutathione and lipostabil IV today, and had about 40 minutes of mHBOT.  Infections…though showing are not primary at all.  For the labs that have come in, I am only low in potassium according to blood serum levels.  I’m waiting for results on some of them.

On a new supplement regimen to get feeling better.  Updating spreadsheet in a minute and then napping.

It’s time for me to recognize my own human dignity in Christ…  Ok that sounds strange.  It’s not.  I’m so tired I can’t get the comb through my hair, and my hair is super curly.  This means TROUBLE.  I’m going to cut my hair – because I’m sick.  I will make it for pleasure too, but I have loved my long hair.  It’s the fact that I can’t keep my hair from being a wreck that bugs me, not so much having to change my “style.” (pretty hippie and unkempt to begin with)  There’s something deeper…my life and even worldview impacting, but I do not wish to say it here.

Sleepy…my brain isn’t working that great.  Math is still terrible.  I had something like a panic attack while at the clinic today – thats been basically regular thing since the edema.  It’s embarassing to have it at the doctor’s office.  Yeah…my self worth keeps taking hits.   We humans are so strange, we can think ourselves worth far too much in some ways, and worth far too less in others…and at the same time.  Freaky.

Still in true financial straights.  my 3 supplements alone cost a little over $100.  Then the stop for my bottle of NAC cost me $23 more.  I am so stressed about money still.  If you want to help me cover my medical bills, you can send via Paypal:  knittingbag@yahoo.com .

Rough Rough…Enough-nough

I don’t know what caused it, there are multiple theories and my body is likely overloaded on life and treatment.  Stressed out.  Yeah…

Tuesday I had some edema in my legs…and it was worse than I thought.  I went to bed thinking it would go down as I slept.

Wednesday evening…it was a big problem!  10lbs of water weight, feeling way too tight for my skin, swelling in my abdomen, consciously breathing deeply…had had one spell of palps already that lasted for a while, and that was coming back.  I nearly went to the hospital but was told “no” so thankfully my doc called in a diuretic.  In retrospect….that was dead serious and it freaks me out to realize that I was just like “la la la” and concerned but not demanding help as I should have, especially considering that I “know” the risks.  I guess my left brain was out in left field too…  I’m thankful to be “ok.”

I can’t seem to get off the diuretic, despite trying a few times.  I keep trying, but there is a bit of edema that won’t go away, it’s been nearly gone but then comes back.  I should hear back on my labs today.  My joint pain is way worse, I’m snapping and poppping terribly, my mental abilities are not as good, my anxiety is sky high….though I keep laying my heart out to God, and I am having some heart palps and stuff – more than the usual that never really concerned me so I pretended it didn’t exist, I have a hard time getting a grip when I change position sometimes.

I’m going back to Ga tomorrow, Lord willing.  Must pack today…but I’m very much trying to get my mind off of myself and what I dont know is going on with my body.  I’m too stressed, and too worried.  Letting it go…but if I have to focus on it at all…bang, I feel worse.

My music right now is Lecrae’s “Walking on Water” “Far Away” and “God is Enough.”  Yeah…I’m struggling.  I trying not to worry about money but fact is, I have very little to my name ($700, no joke!), my family is tight.  I fele like a crudamuck to ask for it…but I will be adding a paypal donate button.  For the moment, if you feel that you can donate even a little bit (even $1):  my Paypal email is knittingbag@yahoo.com .  It costs me $100 to just for the gas to get to Ga and back…  God has always given me wonderful people.  I have a bartering opportunity but I feel to sick to take it up!!  That’s rough.

Reminding myself:

God is enough
God is enough
God is enough
You are enough
Never too much
More than enough
God is enough
You are enough for me…

Gotta hold on to that.

Ga trip – New focuses

Last week we went to Ga for Dr appts.  It was awesome in so many ways.  I had a blog post written out.  It was so long I know no one will read it.  Still dealing with MAJOR levels of fatigue and symptoms still not clearing up since biofilm herx.  Well the twitching is gone.  All else remained.  I could go into detail on all kinds of things.  But I wont.

Protocol simplified…kinda.  Will update.

Hormones are a big issue for me

  • DHEA was up at 512 in October.  We tested again but the lab messed things up so no results.  I bet it was worse than 512
  • T3 had dropped since october, despite my taking some supps for it.  I’m gladly surprised that symptoms had improved overall despite this.  Way to go ACT!  Now to “regain” the ground…more about that in a bit
  • Both estrogen and progesterone were low.  My LLMD had me get a shot with both in bioidentical form.  I sure hope that helps.  My energy still isn’t better
  • Will be testing cortisol.  The fatigue hit me so hard with this “crash” or continued herx or who-knows-what.
  • Muscle testing my own saliva a couple times a week.  Today is day 22.  I’m a little weak to my saliva, not too bad.  I have NAETed my saliva once before

Had my first IV on Thursday.  Cool!  It made me herx a little during the IV and that evening. I felt different.  Mild constant zone-out, and mild visual convergence issues…  In conjunction with getting good chiropractic work the next day, I herxed/retraced like crazy!  That was terrible on top of blah – tons of pain and I was in a very strange zone out/absence/unable to use logic enough to function.  Visual convergence issues showed up way stronger for those few hours after the appt.  Lasted a few hours.  I slept in a strange way from 7pm to 9 something Friday night.  Saturday I was fine.  I think the chiro did my chronic neck issues a lot of good but I must work on my posture.  I fele it throwing things into terrible positions.

Had wonderful much needed emotional work done on me on Wednesday.  Simply incredible.  It is a lot to process!  Also learned gout is connected to performance anxiety.  I so totally fit that and want to change it.

I’m switching from GAPS to BED/SCD.  Less restrictions, easier on family and easier on my body.  I already gained a lb or two from letting up.  If that holds…I will be very happy.  I tolerate a sugar far better than I tolerate a starch.  So things like rice or butternut quash are still basically out.  Sprouted…it’s ok.  It’s just that my body isn’t cooperating.  Ripe banana = I’m ok.  all yellow but no brown spots banana = hangover.  Obviously something going on with starches.

Taking a break from ACT.  I’m processing sooo much.  My infection load is not showing up as being a big deal.  I won’t lose ground by taking a few weeks off.  It’s strange in a way to even ask for that but I know deeply that the break is needed.  I couldn’t take in another code right now.  Coming back to it when the time is right…   My WBC is normal, but it seems my body had specialized into a lot of lymphocyte production.  I think that’s super cool…and a sign that ACT does something.  I have a WBC from when I was relapsing.  None of this good lymphocyte response!

Had a great time, ran the whole trip on adrenaline.  A lot of good things, physical, emotionl and spiritual going on.  Got back and kinda crashed from the adrenaline rushh.  My energy today was minimal but better than yesterday.  I want to get on a roll of doing things to help me cover the costs.  God has provided a small way, and I don’t want to miss out.  Me…always trying to get into something, likely biting off more than I can chew, and then wondering why I can’t do it.  LOL.  I hope not this time!

Goodnight.

Update:  I knew my pants had felt tight all day.  I took my socks off and I’ve got some pretty major swelling…visible from feet to thigh.  Right side worse.  I was craving water today so I drank a lot…and yeah it was with some mineral salt but not anything majorly new.  Hmmm.  Got pics.

A Tour Through My BioFilm Herx

I began herxing biofilm stuff soon after class gave codes on it.  Wowee….  I’m i Rd 2 right now.  I would be sleeping, but the sensations are intense enough and various enough that there is no way I can sleep without imagining up that I have terrible big wriggling monsters in my muscles.  That’s how intense it it…though my pain is actually quite low.  I would like to video, but I knwo this herx is invisible.  So I will give you a guided tour instead.

Have been grouchy all day.  Like a Klingon, nearbouts.  I have hidden in my room to avoid being mean to people.  But I don’t like that. Oh well.  It’s not easy to talk about my symptoms: I feel like my family is just putting up with me, and drawing on me for help on their own things.  I feel bad not to give.  But I know it’s the way things are…and really, they need to give me some room.  I try not to talk about my symptoms unless it is absolutely necessary.  Enough of the family is Lyme affected.  But I’m going crazy.  I want to talk talk talk talk talk lately.  did I mention I want to talk?  Thankfully the brain fog is mostly dealt with.  I do still get too tired to think…but it is a physical fatigue rather than brain fatigue.  I am still having memory issues and dyslexia.  It will improve.  I’m thankful that by watching some comedy I am no longer in a bad mood.  Just tired and sitting out the ride.

Journaling in the moment – this will likely sound like a drug trip or vampire movie.  It’s not.  The guided tour of the amazing and crazy thigns happening.  Tiny micro twitches like bitty fireworks going off throughout my body.  On my skin, in my muscles, deep inside of me.  Twitches everywhere!  I feel like there is something really big wriggling arounds inside me L calf muscle, My neck hurts in one particular spot.  The whole thing is stiff.  Pulse Pulse buzz zap, mostly painless, but very uncomfortable. strong one that make me flinch involuntarily. funny popping in out of my ear.  tear ducts  feels clogged but it comes and goes, alternanting sides.  painless but uncomforatble tingly ice prick into my L neck shouder.  L shin uncomfortable with a lot of twitching and a mild knifelike pain to the bone.  A lot of numb nad tingly sensations, deep and surface, visceral and limbs.  my R foot hurts and then stops.  now my L pinky at the tip and travelling up the bone into my hand.  strange tingle down from the ice prick in my bladder meridian on my back.  pressure in my abdomen, a twitch over the left rib.  my toes are pulating with twitches.  little ice tingles on the side of my hip, my middle R toe is throbbing…and then stops.  Tingling in my toes and the back of the knee.  R eye fogged over…it will clear up soon.  the twitches try to become jerks, but my temperment resists.  I only flinchy.  spleen grumbles and I feel my heart beat, strong and kinda soft but a little fast.  I feel my fever.  no pain for a second escept in my feet.  a wave of cool and relaxation.  twitches in the L side of my ribcage and R lower back.  momentary spasm in the outer side of my L thigh – no pain.  R middle toe goes to hurting again.  R ear popping in out, pulsing titches over Lumbar spineto R side, L inner aspect of ankle and R top of shin bone are starbursting little.  Wow L2 – 3 on my L foot fires up.  my R eye just cleared.  L side of neck very tight and fire-taught pain.  tickling in shoulders, and crazy little electric sensation everywhere.  right side hot.  pain in a pricke my R shin, tickling on the left about to make me crazy.  spleen pancreas are going wild.

I can continue for a long time.  You see how random it is.  I would be “concentrating” on all of this inadvertently if I were trying to sleep and likely manufacturing a night mare.  I’ve been a good girl…had 12 grams of chlorella today.  8 of those in the past 3 hours. Elimination is fine…  will do Lemon liver tomorrow.  ouch my knee.  wow I’m tired. breathe.  Goodnight.

:) Next Trip and Creative Adventures…

I’ve been getting super busy with the Etsy stuff!  I’m just hoping to make some sales.  Also got an Etsy Team going for all of us cwho are creative and have Lyme.   Lyme Artisans is the name of the team, after deliberation with each other.  I LOVE IT!

Yesterday I started knitting the first scarf I have in a couple years.  Seriously, the last thing I made was during the internship in Ga.  I’ve tried socks since then but was too ADD to even complete the first sock and having clicker-clacking guys at my house means that there is no way to come out with two socks the same size.  I also realized what I want to do with that “thing” I made on a knitting loom.  My passion is knitting on straight needles!

I made a batch of kvass that actually came out good!  I built up from 2tsp to 2TBSP over the course of a week.  Maybe it has caused some die off, maybe not.  Good ferments always give me some energy and more clarity of thought, so if it’s killing bad bugs, I don’t notice it really.  commercial probiotics on the other hand…I fele good at first but I also feel the hit of die off.  I haven’t done that to myself while on GAPS, and have worked myself up to 1/2 capsule of BaCoFlor (bacillus coagulans) per day.  It is a single strain probiotic, instead of the multistrain things ike BioKult that NCM recommends.  I don’t think a multistrain probiotic is where I’m at yet.

This morning I made myself the Lemon Liver cleanse from Immune Restoration Handbook, but modified it “for GAPS” because I can’t have Extra Virgin Olive Oil yet…tried and it was too healing.  I tolerate coconut oil, fish oils, ghee and sesame oil wonderfully.  My body may even be ready for flax or borage, I’m jsut not sure yet.  So I used 1.5 tsp each of fish oil and 1.5 tsp of coconut oil, to make up for the 1 tbsp of EVOO required by the original recipe.  WOW, I LOVE this thing.  maybe I should do it 2-3 times a week.  After having my “lemon lotion” as mom calls it, I had my daily beet kvass and 15 min later followed up with chlorella and a bit of kelp.  I love it when things fit together and make perfect sense to me.  Since my Lymie brother doesn’t tolerate coconut at all (maybe even allergy??) I made him some “lemon lotion” using 1tsp fish oil and a full TBSP of ghee instead.  He tests to needing tremendous amounts of ghee…as long as he gets his fish oil.  The bit of fish oil in the “lemon lotion” is extra to his daily dose, because I have a feeling it is the fish oil making the “alternative” version work well.  He drank half the batch, and I put the rest in the fridge for later.  Watching what happens with that.

I’ve been reading NCM’s chapter on Epilepsy in the GAPS book.  WOW!  🙂  this chick who resonates a lot on dealing with KPU….see that GAPS is a way to address KPU, and if there is a dietary cause of KPU, it’s GAPS.  There are often emotional components needing work…but I truly do question Klinghardt’s stand that supplementation for KPU is necessary for the rest of one’s life.  I jsut don’t want to take that as the answer.  Getting on The Core is a good thing but can’t we fix it??  I think ACT and GAPS is the answer for me personally.  That’s one of my big ponderings of late.  I will want to address the KPU mineral deficiencies when my body is ready for it – and I think that time is soon.  I think fixing this will fix whatever my hydration issues are as well.

My other big pondering…has to do with Bartonella!  Muscle testing and energy medicine theories…  Cool stuff.

I got a full body massage – a really well integrated relaxation massage and medical massage – last week.  It has done me soo much and I learned a lot during this.  Turns out my rotator muscles all over my body, especially both rotator cuffs are really tight.  Also I have TMJ issues I wasn’t conscious of!  I have occasional TMJ pain, but now that I know, I can link that with my neck…

A lot of things are puzzle piecing together and beginning to make sense!

We are heading to Ga for appts next week.  I’m soooo excited.  Just have to say, my LLMD is so awesome and I’m thankful for all that he jumps in to do when we get down there.  🙂  Bring on the hyperbarics and other super healing things!!!  I’m also seeing a new chiropractor this trip.  I’m NOT leaving my other one, if I can help it…he has done me sooo much good, and I could make a post of the things I have learned from him.  He’s kindof like my “guru!” in the alternative medicine world.   But this new chiropractor’s focus is a bit different and I think well-suited to my needs. http://sorsi.com/

I’m also hoping to get to hang out with one of my bestest bestest of friends and sister, Lyme warrior, Heather!!  I’m sooo charged for this trip….  TY God for all these good things.

Busy Bee!!

Been working on getting my old Etsy shops up and running again.  My friend Marjorie has also been adding some gorgeous jewelry to her shop!   Feeling creative and want to knit while I do education things…like watch YouTube or listen to lectures.  LOL.  I finished a lovely 750 piece dolphin puzzle.

Also got our next Ga trip set up!

Up and down week.  Still dealing with GI stuff, even was herxing too hard to wake up and go to church.  Today has been ok but I’m realizing this week it is taking me twice as long as it “should” to get things done.  LOL.  Want to make beet kvass but it hurts to stand too long.

Want to get my schedule straight – no more super late nights.  But hey…I have my week planned!!  Thankful for that.

Favorite thing of the week… having my Samento IN my DeTox tea.  They are happy together.

Where I Rest and Where I Go…

I haven’t been posting much, despite my “resolution”.  Here’s why:

This song from Psalm 139 has been repeating in my head today…  On some level I was always secretly afraid of this, I never said how I felt about the verse to anyone.  That fear is long gone.   The head-knowledge of “God knows it all! He’s searched my soul and every fiber of my being” has finally sunk in.  This verse is not about intimidation, even though I once took it that .  The things we hide from ourselves, in hope that they won’t hurt us are what are in control of us keep us from being mature in faith and the walk of faith which is our day-to-day life.  I knew God knows it, but I was afraid to see it in myself.  And guess what.  The Holy Spirit is big enough make you willing and able to face it, and He gives you the strength to change it.  I’m in that phase now, and finally can take in the great comfort that these verses afford.  I wish I had a link to the full song…

Lord, Thou Hast Searched Me – Psalm 139
Lord, Thou hast searched me and dost know
Where’re I rest, where’re I go.
Thou knowest all that I have planned
And all my ways are in Thy hand.

My words from Thee I cannot hide.
I feel Thy power on every side.
Oh wondrous knowledge, awful might
Unfathomed depth, unmeasured height.

Where can I go apart from Thee,
Or whither from Thy presence flee?
In heav’n, it is Thy dwelling fair
In death’s abode, lo, Thou art there.

If I the wings of morning take
And far away my dwelling make,
The hand that leadeth me is Thine.
And my support, Thy power divine.

If deepest darkness cover me,
The darkness hideth not from Thee.
To Thee both night and day are bright;
The darkness shineth as the light.
© 2000 Judy Rogers

Michael Card’s “Poem of Your Life” has also been much on my mind…  Listen carefully, and take in the words deeply!  Here is a page with the lyrics.   I have been very tempted to use this song instead of Alvin after my ACT classes…  What made me cry was:

We are living letters
That doubt desecrates
We’re the notes of the song
Of the chorus of faith
God shapes every second
Of our little lives
And minds every minute
As the universe waits by

Obviously what I’m processing right now is not something I feel like sharing until I have it well enough behind me.  So I might just rely on little topics to try to meet the goals.  Sometimes I feel hypocritical for posting good stuff while I’m muddling through it myself.  ‘Tis life…I’ll get over it.  So never think me as someone who has it all together.  I really truly seriously DONT.  The best friends are the ones who will face your issues by your side, always encouraging you to go into the presence of God and lay it all down.  I am thankful for my true friends!

 

The biggest and best updates are:

I got rid of pinworms last night (surprise!  kinda…it was easier than I expected).  The die-off causes insomnia that not even my best supplements are helping – some supp.s triggering anxiety or depression which I try to correct with something like saffron.  I got tired of the herbal symptom chasing cycle!  This lack of sleep in a normal time frame makes family life, em,  difficult.  BTW, check out My Current Supplements page.  It’s been updated.

Another bit of good news!  Herxy brother is coming into touch with reality and accepting that he has a great big battle going on in his body that’s he’s only begun to wage.  He has to determine his pace within GAPS, and I nor anyone can force that on him.  He will choose even how much pain alleviation he will get through herxes…and is beginning to listen to my suggestion of “activated charcoal”.  As long as he can eat 4-5lbs of meat and gets his daily 2 hour “IV” of music everyday…he’s ok!

Mom isn’t coping so well.  Some would say I’m not coping well either…and well, yeah, it’s true!  My most recent edible delight is canned salmon.  And chocolate is still, as ever, my comfort food.  And we can’t forget the ghee…oh my goodness, are you sure it wasn’t an ingredient in manna???

Angry Brother + AquaFlora Day

= Stress fracture to my spirit.

Yesterday I was in great spirits and could kinda rise above it all.  My brother who also has Lyme is furious at me because I am the one who “sold” this diet to the family, and now he feels too sick to do much 90% of the time instead of 80% (which he refuses to acknowledge).  He hit major die off yesterday and was a wilty angry dishrag.  He laughs angrily if I tell him to tap, and I’m often finding myself trying to just go light.  It’s just really really difficult.  And of course…it’s all my fault.

I just wanted to sleep today, but got up anyway, and I have been a worrier all morning – before the others were awake and I had anything other than me to worry about.  None of the light and free spirit I had yesterday.  I tested yesterday that today was my AquaFlora 9 day too, and retested today, doubtful and thinking “Oh please, no!”  But I was rock solid strong for it.  That stuff has always given me a major die off.  First time I took it, I got toxic very fast, and wanted to vomit.  The second time I took it, I got sick in the middle of the night and vomited and had to get through a pile of die off of various sorts throughout the next week, because I think we go to a layer where enough internal ecology was changing that all the organisms were trying to figure out who’s boss.  It took 5 days and lots of activated charcoal and TravelPro for the nausea to go away.  I only took half-doses of AquaFlora 9 two times in a single day each time!!   So I was trepidacious of taking the stuff again…but I tested to it so tapped for my worries and fear of pain and took it anyway.

Right now I just want to leave having to interact with bro at all.   According to him, it’s also all my fault that there are dirty dishes to be cleaned (as if there were none before??), so contact is unavoidable.  Yesterday he only took my countenance from happiness to a gentle sobriety.  What he said stung deep inside, but I was able to tell myself that he is just whatever way.  Today…it’s a stress fracture.  I’m tapping for it, but this does get old, and right now I even doubt the good tapping does.  My stomach is already so wishy washy that I’m half scared of getting sick…again!  I want to go to a Caribou coffee (Starbucks would do if they had the heat on!) and just chill and read a book about nothing important  – or be there with a friend, not family,  knit and talk about nothing related to my life at the moment.

I know I’m supposed to post

but I feel pretty introverted right now.  LOL.  🙂  Having a good week though, and accomplished a lot yesterday.  Herxed in my sleep and feel detoxy today.  On Wednesday I was herxy immediatly after my ACT class.

I’m enjoying more reasonable conversations toward my non-Lymie brother.  Mom is always worrying about something, especially relationships and how people treat each other.  As I have set my entanglements with that aside, I’m finding it easier to have a relationship with my bro for where it’s at, and I feel more loving and forgiving toward him.  Didn’t really expect that, but am thankful for it and want to keep  it up.  Our conversations on chemistry and physics are really fun.  He just realized the fluorine (kinda better known as fluoride) attracts heavy metals and is going “wow.” and we also had a really cool conversation about certain elements and how they handle light, some refract light and some convert light from on color to another.  This made my little obsession with orgone devices finally make sense to him…and explained it, in a more scientific nature, to me.   🙂

BTW, I’m noticing that my first constant exposure to orgone was  really was pulling some things to the surface and making me herx a bit.  This combined with the other die-off’s was yow, but I felt stronger through the herxing, so it was definitely a good thing and TOTALLY worth it.  The drawing out and converting bad energy to good orgone is now a constant and I think will continue, but now my body is used to it in a good way.

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